poor part

everyone has his business and desires. for my poor part what do i do ? pray ? whats the remedy for a non-believer ? all have agendas - some open some hidden. enough is enough. i think it is time for a change.

caution

after lots of trouble things are going fine now. mindset has started dissolving. questioning period is over. a new faith has to be built up. will take time. need to be cautious too - things should not slide back. some are desperados. still keep hammering the wrong among the youngsters - even from afar. cowards. keep themselves hidden use pseudonyms and fake orkut identities to speak to me. but thescraps indicate a good sign. information sources are drying up. the age old accusations dopnt hold good today.

irregular

wish i could be more regular. but two things hold me back. one is ofcourse -laziness. the other a creeping doubt whether it is wise to think aloud - in public. one can smile and yet be a villain. hide - or dissemble with - what you think is the order of the day. speaking your mind may be indiscreet.

orkut Blog: Welcome!

orkut Blog: Welcome!

this is a great facility. only thing -how to avoid overlapping between individual's blog and this !

singapore

Singapore was a great experience - specially the meetings with debashis aikat, anantha babbili, usha reddy, indrajit banerjee,ramprasad padhy, vinod agrawa, kate and the team from australia. great people. how sharp and dedicated to media teaching. we look small with our squabbles on trivialities. its urgent we change, think big and be connected - with the world outside.

gloss

gloss and the rest. how does it help. some are impressed. they matter - at least cant be ignored. but to myself it is laughing matter.

mounting pressure

one after another.no end to problems.why do i have face all this.what are they trying to prove.

losing interest

off to hometown. but strangely do not feel the ties. none pulls me. whats happened? losing interest in life ?

seesaw

sometimes you feel you have reached an edge from which there is no return. its abyss in front.its sleepnessness.but suddenly things get straighten out on its own. you see hope. this see- saw madden me.

more zap

small things are blown out of proportions. its their nature. changing habits is difficult. and to change mind sets it is even more difficult. when in the flow one can swim and be afloat. but when affairs become stagnant, it needs an inhuman effort to push it back on stream and then keep afloat. the inhuman effort is over; it drained me out. now the rebuilding process. i need more zap. more life.

relief

When an institution is the concern, individuals can take a back seat. unfortunately the institution has suffered for individuals for far too long.
But talking to the new entrants it was a relief to know that that inspite of the best intentions of certain individuals to speak ill of the institution, not much damage could be done. and they come from far and wide. It makes you humble.

in a chaotic world how to hold myself together and keep patience with everybody. how to distinguish between self seekers and the genuine ones. i am getting confused. im tired of being fooled again and again.

connect disintegrate

strangely while i connect i feel more disintegrated