gloss

gloss and the rest. how does it help. some are impressed. they matter - at least cant be ignored. but to myself it is laughing matter.

mounting pressure

one after another.no end to problems.why do i have face all this.what are they trying to prove.

losing interest

off to hometown. but strangely do not feel the ties. none pulls me. whats happened? losing interest in life ?

seesaw

sometimes you feel you have reached an edge from which there is no return. its abyss in front.its sleepnessness.but suddenly things get straighten out on its own. you see hope. this see- saw madden me.

more zap

small things are blown out of proportions. its their nature. changing habits is difficult. and to change mind sets it is even more difficult. when in the flow one can swim and be afloat. but when affairs become stagnant, it needs an inhuman effort to push it back on stream and then keep afloat. the inhuman effort is over; it drained me out. now the rebuilding process. i need more zap. more life.

relief

When an institution is the concern, individuals can take a back seat. unfortunately the institution has suffered for individuals for far too long.
But talking to the new entrants it was a relief to know that that inspite of the best intentions of certain individuals to speak ill of the institution, not much damage could be done. and they come from far and wide. It makes you humble.

in a chaotic world how to hold myself together and keep patience with everybody. how to distinguish between self seekers and the genuine ones. i am getting confused. im tired of being fooled again and again.

connect disintegrate

strangely while i connect i feel more disintegrated